bitin' the bullet.

so i'm at the library at UofT. yes you heard me. i'm at the UofT LIBRARY. gerstein to be exact.

why??? well, cause i booked my USMLE test date yesterday and it's time to get my butt back to the books. :(
it's weird being back though. seems like nothing has changed since i was here for undergrad. i might start keeping a tally again. for the record it's going to be 9-5 study days to start and then i'll slot in week nights and weekends once pat starts his exam study. if you're on campus come find me. i'll most likely be at robarts or gerstein.

we got our first major snow fall last night. little parkette by my house...


UofT king's circle with university college in the background.

isn't it beautiful??? :)

1 day, 10 hours, 56 minutes

not a whole lot of time left before my exams. normally at this stage i've given up hope and just want to get the stupid thing over with but this year i find myself still reviewing and still looking over stuff - dare i say still LEARNING. i don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing. maybe it means that i'm not quite as prepared as i would like to be and there is still plenty of stuff to learn. or perhaps it means that for some reason, i care just a little bit more than usual. hm... i sure hope it's the latter.

had my MSATs (multiple station assessment tests) yesterday. i think they went ok. no major blunders.  my simulated stations were...

• history taking: patient complaining of chest pain
• clinical physical exam: patient with distended abdomen
• ethics/communication station: obtaining consent from a patient scheduled in for surgery
• clinical reasoning station: patient complaining of shortness of breath on exertion, examinations & investigations pointing towards some sort of anemia/hematological origin
• ALS/CPR station: demonstrating my CPR skills, as well as my ability to use a defib, use drugs (adrenalin, atropine, amiodarone), etc...

now i've just got these two big written ones on tuesday and wednesday.  wish me luck!

9 days, 7 hours, 58 minutes.

OMG.
single digit days left. i'm not going to have enough time. :s

i did get some good study in though. clocked in at FIFTY, that's right 50 hours this week. next weeks goal is up to 55.

spent the day covering ethics, EBM and public/population health stuff... euthanasia, Gillick competence, confidentiality, involuntary admission/treatment, determinants of health, notification, screening tests, sensitivity/specificity/likelihood ratios, prevention, geriatric giants & elderly care, negligence & trespass, counter-transference, refusal of treatment, stages of behavioral change, motivational interviewing, breaking bad news, assessment of depression/suicide/alcohol abuse, immunization, child abuse, organ donation, ethical boundaries... what else was there...???

back to the science stuff tomorrow.

the end is near...

today was our last day of PBL. weird. this year seems to have passed much too quickly. feels like it was even shorter than 1st year.

left to right... steve, adrian, me, chris, leah, carl, linda, vanessa, drew (our PBL tutor) & margie.

had a scary thought last night... so now that classes are winding down, i do 95% of my learning and studying at home. a typical day might look something like this...
alarm goes off at 6am. press snooze.
finally give in and wake up around 6:20.
toilet. glass of milk. move stuff out to dining room table. check e-mail & facebook. start study 7am.
study for hour - hour and a half.
breakfast.
study for hour - hour and a half.
shower.
study for hour - hour and a half.
lunch.
study for 2-3 hours.
get out of the house. this is what keeps me sane. well, that's assuming i'm still sane. usually some sort of exercise: basketball, throwing a football with matt, a jog, QT with a church friend.
dinner at 6:30pm.
clean up, mingle with roommates, settle down for more study around 8pm.
usually get another 3 hours of study in.
in bed between 11pm and midnight with about 8 hours of total study for the day.
good productive day right?

last night, as i got into bed, i lay there thinking... hm... what did i learn today? and i drew a complete BLANK. NOTHING came to my head. but fortunately as the panic crept in, SLEEP came into save me and i fell asleep. i was out cold. :s

we'll see if i can remember any of what i studied today. :)

16 days, 14 hours, 3 minutes.

solid study week. clocked in at 42 hours total. :) but there's still so much more do to!!!
next week's goal: 45 hours.

off to watch turandot at qpac tonight. doesn't ring a bell? maybe this'll help.


and if THAT doesn't help, surely this must...

23 days, 7 hours, 5 minutes...

had a good study week. started off a little slow but really hit my stride thursday, friday and saturday. managed 33 hours with a much better "study : hours-at-desk" ratio. :)
next week's goal: 35+ hours.

side note: can't remember the last time i've done any sort of exercise.

29 days, 14 hours, 28 minutes.

total study this week: 26 hours.
total hours spent sitting at my desk: probably closer to 40 hours.
i know. that's weak.

next week's goal: 30+ hours of REAL STUDY.

36 days, 22 hours, 4 minutes.

countdown has begun for exams.
AAAHHH!!!

last week's study total: 25 hours.
this week's study goal: 30+ hours.

3rd year choices...

so i've put in my preferences for my clinical school for next year. you see, years 3 and 4 are "clinically oriented" meaning that although we still have some lectures and tutorials with a few PBL sessions, for the most part all of our learning happens in the "real world" - in the hospital wards. our clinical school is where we do most of our rotations - everything except the rural rotation.

3rd and 4th year consist of five, 8-week rotations in various fields. so for example... in 3rd year, you do 8 weeks in surgery, 8 weeks in mental health, 8 weeks with a GP, 8 weeks in general/internal medicine and 8 weeks in a rural location studying (duh!) rural medicine.

my first choice for clinical school would be RBH (royal brisbane hospital) which i'm at right now but who knows. if RBH is over subscribed then i could be bumped down to my second choice (Mater Hospital), or even my third choice (Princess Alexandra Hospital). worse case scenario would be that i don't get any of my 3 choices and i get balloted out to a hospital in the 'burbs. that would suck. i'm not hating on the suburbs - but everyone knows i'm a city boy. ;) it's just that with such a placement i would have to consider commuting from where i am or even moving to avoid this commute. this could get really messy really quickly. i think i speak for the house when i say we're quite happy with our current living arrangements. i don't want to have to find another place to live next january. on that note... i was planning to write my USMLEs in late-January. but if i have to find a new pad before school starts, USMLE might have to be re-planned and pulled earlier to december (not ideal) or pushed back to sometime during the school year (also not ideal). plus, if i get shafted out of the city and end up moving... i might have to find a new church too... :(

at this point there isn't much i can do about it though. just hope and pray that i get a little lucky...

to complicate things/make things interesting... there are options/potential opportunities to do some of these rotations outside of brisbane. i'd LOVE to do these whenever/wherever possible. so for example, the surgical rotation can be done in Brunei. that's cool. the school also has an engagement - not quite a marriage ;-) with the Ochsner Health System in New Orleans which normally houses med students from Tulane University and Louisiana State University. this isn't up and running yet, but we've been told it should be by the time we're done the first 2 rotations or so. this would be sweet too. and lastly... although VERY preliminary and unfortunately unlikely to occur in time for us, it has been mentioned by the school that a relationship with NOSM (Northern Ontario School of Medicine) is in the works to let us do our rural rotation in Sudbury, Thunder Bay or the like. this would be... would be... da bomb man!!! i am keeping my fingers crossed, but i'm not holding my breath.

*****
study totals - where did these tallies go??? :)
week ending on sept 13: 16 hours.
week ending on sept 20: 20 hours.
week ending on sept 27: 16 hours.
like the canadian goose that flies south during the winter months, it is now time for me migrate out into the living room to study. ugh..,

canada finally has some medals.

we may be late to the party. but we're here. finally. thank you to Carol Huynh, Dave Calder & Scott Frandsen and Tonya Verbeek. we now have more medals than mongolia (2), ethiopia (1) and kyrgyzstan (2). however, we still trail some powerhouse countries like north korea (5), cuba (8), zimbabwe (4), azerbaijan (5) and kazakhstan (5).

this is pathetic.

*****
my totals for the week.
study: 10 hours
running: 30.2 km

did some hill training this week.

it's a short run (2.46km) but there are 2 huge hills on carmody road. one at munro street and the other at raven street. we ran this circuit 3 times (total of 7.38km) with a 2 minute rest in between the 2nd and 3rd laps.

next week's goals.
study: 15 hours
running: 35 km

tally it up!

i'm going to start counting hours again. i spend loads of hours at my desk but haven't been very efficient.

i started counting hours roughly 8 weeks before my mid-year exams. considering i have about 13 weeks until the end-of-year exams & since it's already tuesday (and tomorrow is ekka - which i might actually check out this year), i'll start at a VERY modest goal of 10 hours of SOLID study for this week.

giddy up!

gummy bears.

came home today after clinical coaching and watched some Kaplan videos while eating gummy bears.

and then i got a little bored and distracted.
>.<
ok. back to the books.

late night study sessions...

you start to go a little insane after studying all day everyday for 10+ days.

on most days, while the girls went out to the library/campus, matt and i stayed home. on some days we'd only venture outside to take out the garbage, pick up the mail or cook dinner on the bbq in the backyard. don't worry though we still showered and moved around. we don't smell and we don't have pressure ulcers on our butts. yes!

i think we've kept each other sane though, quizzing each other and clarifying things we don't understand.

wait, now that i think about it, maybe we aren't so sane. maybe we've both lost it and just never really realized cause we've had no other social contact. now that i look back there are some moments where i question our sanity. like... late night 8 minute tae bo sessions with billy blanks on youtube, howling with the crazy dog next door, painting our toe-nails with laura's nail polish, late night ice cream & potato chip sessions and perhaps the most worrisome - giggling like immature little school girls at things like priapism - which (according to matt, i take no credit for this whatsoever) is actually a clinical feature of chronic myelogenous leukemia.

ok. don't judge us. ;D hahaha!

can you guess which toes are mine? i guess the hairy legs kind of give you a hint. the other feet belong to matt and laura.


i'll be glad when this is over. it's been fun learning stuff, but the stress i can really do without!!!

some things i'm looking forward to:
-some fresh air & throwing a football around
-indiana jones. still haven't seen it!
-poker. i'm in the mood for some poker
-most importantly... chilling with my brother.

study party!

classes are done for the semester.
i've now got a week to stuff as much info into my cranium and then the exam is on the thursday after that. plenty of time. (that's what i keep telling myself.) 11 days and a few hours.

kicked the study up another notch this week.
managed to log 41 hours.

the roommates and i have stocked up on the junk food and moved out into the living room for nightly "study parties". that's right. our two favorite things put together... studying and partying.
in the words of matt: it's the most fun you can have with your pants on!

can you tell i'm stoked?

i expect next week to be a monstrous study week especially considering i don't have any lectures or school commitments.
goal of 55 hours.
current gear: in 6th and wondering if my porsche turbo comes with overdrive.

!!!

holy moly!

i stepped on a scale last night for the first time in about 5 months. i couldn't believe my eyes. so much so that i weighed myself again this morning after dropping some kids off at the pool and peeing like seabiscuit - but alas, no change. so how much do i weigh? let's just say, if i was a boxer, i'd have to fight in the light HEAVYWEIGHT division.

ignorance sure is bliss! but that's the thing. i don't FEEL heavy. i don't feel groggy or like i've put on a few pounds. shirts & pants don't feel any tighter than they did 5 months ago. and i definitely don't look in the mirror in the morning thinking: 'ew... gross'. (that doesn't mean i look in the mirror making kissy faces and growling at myself either!)
i wish i could use the excuse of maybe having put on some more muscle. but that won't work either. i haven't been to the gym to push weights on a regular basis since undergrad!
meh. i'd set some goals to lose this excess baggage but it would just be unrealistic at this time of the year. especially not with exams in 2 weeks. post exams. will come up with something post-exams.

*****
it's gray and cool outside. a perfect day to roll up in a blanket with a book & some hot choco?
no. not quite. it's actually a perfect day to study! seriously.

stop eating shark fin soup! STOP!

if you haven't seen this documentary yet, you have to watch it. it's a film called "sharkwater" by rob steward (no not ROD steward - rob). and he's canadian too!

it's about sharks and how they are misrepresented by the media as bloodthirsty, human hunting monsters. it hints at how sharks are a vital part of not only the underwater ecosystem of the world but of the very ecosystem in which we live & depend on. it then focuses on the billion dollar business of shark finning. there is some gruesome footage of fishermen catching sharks for their fins, cutting them off and then discarding the now-finless-but-still-alive sharks back into the water to die.

i've never had shark fin soup before. never really wanted to. but this definitely turns me off to it. and plus, i'm told it has no real taste to it. it's usually served in a chicken or beef broth! people eat it for its "texture" and their completely misplaced beliefs of health benefits. and of course don't forget the status that comes with being able to afford it.

stop. watch the movie. and if you're feeling like some soup, go eat some pho instead.

*****
managed to get in 30 hours of study this week. didn't make my goal.
should've got in much more. was not very efficient.
current gear: stuck in 5th.

*****
forgot to mention: i'm going down to adelaide during my week off in june! yay! i'm going to fly down with my brother to see my cousins stella and clara - yes clara! she's flying down from sydney. it'll be a mini family reunion. harri? justin? wanna join us?

get your nerd on!

i logged some good hours of study in this week.
31 to be exact.
next week's goal will have to jump to 35.

i had a productive week but i'm not feeling so good about it. i'm a little stressed and a little... afraid. just a little.
i came to the conclusion this week that i've been focusing WAY too much on pathology and not enough on the clinical aspects. not to worry though. there is still just over 3 weeks until mid-years. enough time to make adjustments. this is good...

no really. it's good.
i've never really used stress and fear as motivators to study. they've usually been states of being. emotions that i feel just before and during the exam to provide the adrenalin to complete the given task.

just gotta keep on truckin'.

book of the week: davidson's priciples and practice of medicine. scratch that. that's the book of the month.
current gear: i'm looking for 6th.

on a slightly happier note:
mike dropped by for dinner on friday night. guess what he brought!?!?!

don't know if he's been reading my blog but darn this kid's good!

aussie english lesson #9.

back with some more aussie slang!

now aside from refusing to enunciate anything, aussies like to keep foreigners guessing by shortening words. for example...
ambo is ambulance
medico is a medical professional
servo is a service station
bikee is a biker/motorcyclist
and arvo is afternoon.

snog - to hook up with, in particular of a physical nature
medcest - relationships that occur within the medical class
susan: did you hear the new goss? X is snogging Y!
me: really? X and Y? more medcest? ewww...

spewing - REALLY mad
flogged - get beaten really badly, get outplayed, embarrassed 
our coach was just spewing. we were getting flogged out there, the final score was like 54-1!

rock up - show up, often unannounced and/or just as is
me: do i need to RSVP? want me to bring anything?
adrian: nah, just rock up.

little lunch - morning recess
morning tea - mid morning snack
tea - dinner
linda: remember when we used to have little lunch and morning tea?
me: *sort of confused* um... yea... you mean like those lunch things where you take a cracker and add on a layer of cheese and a layer of ham?
linda: huh? what are you talking about? what crackers?
me: i dunno. what are YOU talking about???

adrian: what's for tea tonight?

me: tea?  i don't drink much tea.  i'll probably just drink some OJ.  

doona - quilt, comforter
knickers - underwear
loo roll - toilet paper

*****
hit my goal of 20 hours of study this week.
next week's goal goes up to 25.
i'm definitely past 3rd and up-shifting into 4th now.

my friend sarah. & my new friend priscilla. sort of.

a big fat congratulations to my friend sarah. she is engaged! :D

while checking out sarah's engagement announcement video on YouTube, i came across this girl named priscilla ahn today. she is awesome. i might even go as far as to say that i might have a teeny tiny crush on her.
i know i'm not exactly a connoisseur of indie music but priscilla! where've you been all this time? ;)

i love the harmonica/guitar combo. this one is called "i don't think so".
here's another couple if you feel like procrastinating. wallflower & dream.

first day at work went well.
as mentioned it was a netball & rugby tournament at a private school. it was good. pretty low-key. no major injuries so that made my job a lot easier.

sitting at 16 hours of study for the week.
i've got a long night ahead of me if i'm going to hit 20.

kiwi skins and pirated audio lectures.

i used to have a friend in undergrad that would eat apple cores. he'd sit in class and eat his apple. when he was done with the pulp, he'd chomp his way through the whole core - seeds and all. i thought that was pretty weird.

but now i have a friend that eats kiwis like they're apples - without peeling them. she'll grab them by the 2 ends and bite right into them. *blah* all that hairy fuzz on your tongue. every time i see her eat a kiwi, i subconsciously stick out my tongue & scrape the surface with my front teeth. and of course, i make fun of her.
;p

been listening to these mp3 files of this guy by the name of Goljan.
from what i know, Dr. Goljan is a pathology professor at oklahoma state university. he's also published several books and audio CDs on pathology - in particular pathology prep for the USMLEs. he's pretty good. he explains stuff better than 99% of my lecturers here at UQ.
it's a little sad that i'm paying all this money to UQ but get my learning from pirated mp3 files. oh well. you gotta learn, when you gotta learn. doesn't really matter how right?

speaking of which, lectures are utterly useless lately. you might have 1 good lecture out of 10 in a week. i've continued going to lectures cause:
1. it breaks up my day nicely - otherwise on mondays and thursdays, i'd never even leave the house.
and 2. i don't want to miss that ONE good lecture.
BUT at this point, i am seriously re-considering things.

speaking of USMLEs. i'm leaning towards not writing them at the end of this year. will re-evaluate this decision after mid-year exams.

was good about studying this week but need to do more. i'm going to start keeping a rough tally of the number of hours of study i do each week. last week (sunday to saturday), aside from lectures, tutorials, clinical coaching sessions, PBL group meetings, year 1 & year 3 tutorial groups... i spent about 17 hours of study.
goal for this week: 20+.